Sunday, July 18, 2010

LOLl!, How I got on Facebook

When I arrived at St Theresa’s and was asked to teach composition in Form 2W, I accepted, although my TP was specifically in Kiswahili and CRE. After all, in primary school, I taught all subjects.
I used my years of experience in teaching Insha to help the girls improve their English. In Insha, we always reward students for using misamiati and misemo, and I therefore was keen to see the girls use vocabulary in composition. I therefore demanded that the students spend an hour with the dictionary every week getting new words. I would give three extra marks for every vocabulary used in a composition.
Having been brought up in Nairobi, Anastasia’s compositions were always the best. She uses good vocabulary in every composition but in the last one I gave out, she used so many new words – most of which were not in any dictionary.
I had asked them to write a composition entitled A friend in need is a friend in deed. “You will get more marks for using new vocabulary,” I reminded them. What Annastacia wrote amazed me. Excerpts:
Lol, Eric is my friend indeed. I confirmed him after xeeing that he was my bro’s peep xo I felt xafe friending him. Juzi, Coz of his status, I xuxpected he was having a NKT day. Rather than wall him, I dcded 2inbox him since inboxing is mo private.
Xo I poked him. He poked back. The day b4, I had unfriended him after he pissd me off. I friended him again and we began 2chat.
Me: Xaxa dude
Eric: Nkt, not fine gal
Me: WTH is the problem.
Eric: No prlbm, jst mcd u!
Me: Lolest, UHKMO
Eric: OMG, what does that mean?
Me: You have killed me off
Eric: that’s a new one. Rotfl
Me: Lolest
Eric: Brb, lemme get 2ma diggz
Me: Xawa, Tk care, L8erz
That is when I knew that a friend indeed is a friend in need.
I shared this with Mr. Maina and Mrs. Muindi who also could not understand this. They also complained of receiving compositions with words not found in dictionaries. We decided to do something about it.
We set aside Monday to Thursday as English days and the rest as Swahili days. Except during a lesson, all students were expected to only speak the designated language of the day. We then introduced wooden disks per class and anyone who contravened the language of the day would be given the Disk. Twice every week, we followed up on who had the disk and punished all the students who had held it.
After a week, we informed the staffroom that the rule would also apply to teachers during the Friday parade. “We have to lead by example by speaking fluent Swahili on Friday Parade,” said Mr. Maina in a staff meeting. After a long debate, the other teachers grudgingly accepted.
Together with Mr. Maina, we met all class prefects and told them that on Friday parade, even teachers would speak Swahili. Come the next Friday parades, and most teachers did not speak. The Deputy, who teaches biology, stayed away for two consecutive Fridays – as she could not speak Swahili.
But last Friday since the Principal was around, she had no choice but to address the school in Swahili.
“Shikamo wanafunzi,” she started and the students answered Marahaba loudly.
“Allekum Salaam?” She then asked. There was loud laughter but she soldiered on.
“Lijuma hili limekuwa lijuma lizuri sana, na wote mmefanyeko maduties zenu kama expected,”
She went on: “Jana wakati wa preps nimekutananga na wengi wenyu nje mkiendana msalabani,” the students roared in laughter. She had called toilets msalabani, instead of msalani!
She could not continue in Swahili. “I wish to announce that toilets remain out of bounds during preps time.” Just then, several students walked to the centre of the parade and attempted to give her the Language Disk.
“Leo ni siku ya Kiswahili, mbona unazungumza Kimombo,” Anastasia shouted. Luckily for us, the Principal brought the whole commotion to an end. She then called for a staff meeting in which she wanted to know why we had implemented the language rule.
“Madam Principal, if you see some of the compositions the students are writing, you will be shocked,” I said then read the composition Annastacia had written.
All teachers did not understand this, except Jasmine and Mboya. “Lol, you mean you have never heard of Facebook language?” Jasmine wondered.
“What’s Facebook?” asked Mrs. Muindi
“OMG! @Andrew and @Maina, kwani you are not on Facebook, mnnaishi wapi?”
Jasmine then explained to us what Facebook was. The same day, Mboya’s helped me join Facebook on his computer. He then introduced me to many friends and taught me how to ‘Facebook’ on my phone.
It’s not even a week since I joined and yet I have so very many big friends including Martha Karua, William Ruto, Raila Odinga, Churchill, Presidents Obama, and Jonathan Goodluck of Nigeria. Every day, Obama and Jonathan write to me telling me what they are doing in their country. But President Kibaki refused to be my friend. He told me that he already has too many friends when I requested to be his friend.
Lol! I have been facebooking on my phone all day ever since. Thanx Xtine Njeru, my Facebook friend, who has been t’ching me Facebook language. NKT, I hope Cate doesn’t know about dis!

XIXO, You too can be my friend on Facebook: www.facebook.com/mwalimuandrew

4 comments:

  1. U shld discourage dat language in composition writing n be update mwalimu wit da new IT

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  2. Bravo!mwalimu.I like your creativity.tell the students not to write language ya facebook kwa exam.

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  3. I just love the way you write...sweet

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