When I arrived at St Theresa’s and was asked to teach composition in Form 2W, I accepted, although my TP was specifically in Kiswahili and CRE. After all, in primary school, I taught all subjects.
I used my years of experience in teaching Insha to help the girls improve their English. In Insha, we always reward students for using misamiati and misemo, and I therefore was keen to see the girls use vocabulary in composition. I therefore demanded that the students spend an hour with the dictionary every week getting new words. I would give three extra marks for every vocabulary used in a composition.
Having been brought up in Nairobi, Anastasia’s compositions were always the best. She uses good vocabulary in every composition but in the last one I gave out, she used so many new words – most of which were not in any dictionary.
I had asked them to write a composition entitled A friend in need is a friend in deed. “You will get more marks for using new vocabulary,” I reminded them. What Annastacia wrote amazed me. Excerpts:
Lol, Eric is my friend indeed. I confirmed him after xeeing that he was my bro’s peep xo I felt xafe friending him. Juzi, Coz of his status, I xuxpected he was having a NKT day. Rather than wall him, I dcded 2inbox him since inboxing is mo private.
Xo I poked him. He poked back. The day b4, I had unfriended him after he pissd me off. I friended him again and we began 2chat.
Me: Xaxa dude
Eric: Nkt, not fine gal
Me: WTH is the problem.
Eric: No prlbm, jst mcd u!
Me: Lolest, UHKMO
Eric: OMG, what does that mean?
Me: You have killed me off
Eric: that’s a new one. Rotfl
Me: Lolest
Eric: Brb, lemme get 2ma diggz
Me: Xawa, Tk care, L8erz
That is when I knew that a friend indeed is a friend in need.
I shared this with Mr. Maina and Mrs. Muindi who also could not understand this. They also complained of receiving compositions with words not found in dictionaries. We decided to do something about it.
We set aside Monday to Thursday as English days and the rest as Swahili days. Except during a lesson, all students were expected to only speak the designated language of the day. We then introduced wooden disks per class and anyone who contravened the language of the day would be given the Disk. Twice every week, we followed up on who had the disk and punished all the students who had held it.
After a week, we informed the staffroom that the rule would also apply to teachers during the Friday parade. “We have to lead by example by speaking fluent Swahili on Friday Parade,” said Mr. Maina in a staff meeting. After a long debate, the other teachers grudgingly accepted.
Together with Mr. Maina, we met all class prefects and told them that on Friday parade, even teachers would speak Swahili. Come the next Friday parades, and most teachers did not speak. The Deputy, who teaches biology, stayed away for two consecutive Fridays – as she could not speak Swahili.
But last Friday since the Principal was around, she had no choice but to address the school in Swahili.
“Shikamo wanafunzi,” she started and the students answered Marahaba loudly.
“Allekum Salaam?” She then asked. There was loud laughter but she soldiered on.
“Lijuma hili limekuwa lijuma lizuri sana, na wote mmefanyeko maduties zenu kama expected,”
She went on: “Jana wakati wa preps nimekutananga na wengi wenyu nje mkiendana msalabani,” the students roared in laughter. She had called toilets msalabani, instead of msalani!
She could not continue in Swahili. “I wish to announce that toilets remain out of bounds during preps time.” Just then, several students walked to the centre of the parade and attempted to give her the Language Disk.
“Leo ni siku ya Kiswahili, mbona unazungumza Kimombo,” Anastasia shouted. Luckily for us, the Principal brought the whole commotion to an end. She then called for a staff meeting in which she wanted to know why we had implemented the language rule.
“Madam Principal, if you see some of the compositions the students are writing, you will be shocked,” I said then read the composition Annastacia had written.
All teachers did not understand this, except Jasmine and Mboya. “Lol, you mean you have never heard of Facebook language?” Jasmine wondered.
“What’s Facebook?” asked Mrs. Muindi
“OMG! @Andrew and @Maina, kwani you are not on Facebook, mnnaishi wapi?”
Jasmine then explained to us what Facebook was. The same day, Mboya’s helped me join Facebook on his computer. He then introduced me to many friends and taught me how to ‘Facebook’ on my phone.
It’s not even a week since I joined and yet I have so very many big friends including Martha Karua, William Ruto, Raila Odinga, Churchill, Presidents Obama, and Jonathan Goodluck of Nigeria. Every day, Obama and Jonathan write to me telling me what they are doing in their country. But President Kibaki refused to be my friend. He told me that he already has too many friends when I requested to be his friend.
Lol! I have been facebooking on my phone all day ever since. Thanx Xtine Njeru, my Facebook friend, who has been t’ching me Facebook language. NKT, I hope Cate doesn’t know about dis!
XIXO, You too can be my friend on Facebook: www.facebook.com/mwalimuandrew
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The day my career almost came to an end
About a month ago, the Deputy Principal, Mrs. Kandia, banned all students from making ‘cold power’. She then conducted a search during which she confiscated kilogrammes of sugar and cocoa from the girls’ boxes and lockers. Mrs. Kandia also reduced the lunch and games time – thus creating one extra lesson daily.
These actions did not endear her to students and teachers; and a week later, a warning note was found dropped in her office. She later said that she suspected the note had been placed in her office by a student, but was authored by a teacher. “Only a teacher can write such English,” she alleged.
But the World Cup has given her a chance to redeem herself. It all began when the Principal walked into the staffroom unannounced one morning and found us watching a replay of a match that Ghana had won.
“So this is what you sit here doing all day?” she shouted. “There will be no TV here until the World Cup is over.’”
“Madam Principal,” said Mr. Maina “We can come up with rules during this tournament. The TV has many educational programmes and should not be removed just because of World Cup.”
“If you remove the TV here, these teachers will leave early to go watch matches from their houses,” added Mrs. Kandia, the Deputy. “I prefer them watching the matches where I can see them.”
“No way Madam Deputy,” the PM thundered. “Anyone leaving early will be dealt with.” She ordered the TV to be taken to the store and also announced that students would watch a maximum of two matches every weekend. The next morning, she left for the Head Teachers conference in Mombasa. But Mr. Maina claimed that the PM had actually gone on her private businesses. “The Conference will be covered on TV; you won’t see her on TV!”
A day later, the Deputy ordered the TV back to the staffroom, and announced that different classes would watch every day’s matches in turns. This made her a heroine overnight. “Only a teacher who has no classes will join the students to watch the matches in the DH, or would be allowed in the staffroom during matches,” the Deputy announced. We prepared a timetable for this and for the first few days, she walked around to confirm this.
She must have got tired after two days. Soon after, it was free for all. Most classes ended as soon as World Cup matches began – with most students leaving class to watch the matches. I remember the day Chile was playing Honduras. I was supporting Honduras, as I had never heard of the country.
Since I had a double lesson that afternoon in Form 2W, I went there during lunch time and gave them three Ufahamu exercises to occupy them during the lessons. I returned to the staffroom and settled on the sofa ready for the crunch match. Besides three other teachers, we were joined by Arthur, the bursar and Baraza, the Lab Assistant.
“Imagine Honduras, which had earthquakes, are in World Cup na sisi we are not,” commended the bursar.
“That was Haiti,” said Mboya, laughing. The game began soon after and I had difficulty pronouncing the difficult names of the players.
A few minutes into the game, my phone rang. I wondered why Jasmine, who was in class, was calling me. “Andrew, leo umepatikana,” she started. “Your supervisor from KU has just missed you in Form 2W and is coming to the staffroom.”
“What? Mwathani!, I don’t even have a lesson plan!” Even before I stood from the sofa, he was already at the staffroom door. “Andrew, I am Dr Wasonga from Kenyatta University,”
I welcomed him into the staffroom and pulled a chair for him next to my desk. “I arrived late and went straight to Form 2W as per your timetable. Why were you not in class?” he asked. I told him that we had swapped the lesson with another teacher. “I taught for her in the morning and she was supposed to teach for me in the afternoon but she fell ill.” It was clear that he was not convinced
“Where are your Schemes and records of work?” he asked.
“Sir I have them here,” I explained. “But I forgot the keys to my locker at home.” Just then, the other teachers went wild celebrating Chile’s goal. Dr Wasonga then asked me to prepare for the second lesson of the double. I hurriedly scribbled a lesson plan and went to class with him. The lesson was good, although I called a few students the wrong names, with two of them openly correcting me!
From class, we went to the staffroom where he gave me a long lecture and criticized me for not using teaching aids. Which teaching aids would I have used when teaching how to write kumbukumbu?
He then relaxed a little, smiled and said: “My car has some problem, please come help me,” I followed him to his car as we chatted. Am not good at cars but I suspect his was a new type of Mercedes Benz I had never heard of. The word Platz was written behind.
I helped him change his flat tyre. Once we were done, the car would not start until I called a few school employees to help me push it. “Thank you so much, Andrew. Forget about the earlier altercation we had. You will have a good report,” he said, went back to his car and sped off.
mwalimuandrew@gmail.com
These actions did not endear her to students and teachers; and a week later, a warning note was found dropped in her office. She later said that she suspected the note had been placed in her office by a student, but was authored by a teacher. “Only a teacher can write such English,” she alleged.
But the World Cup has given her a chance to redeem herself. It all began when the Principal walked into the staffroom unannounced one morning and found us watching a replay of a match that Ghana had won.
“So this is what you sit here doing all day?” she shouted. “There will be no TV here until the World Cup is over.’”
“Madam Principal,” said Mr. Maina “We can come up with rules during this tournament. The TV has many educational programmes and should not be removed just because of World Cup.”
“If you remove the TV here, these teachers will leave early to go watch matches from their houses,” added Mrs. Kandia, the Deputy. “I prefer them watching the matches where I can see them.”
“No way Madam Deputy,” the PM thundered. “Anyone leaving early will be dealt with.” She ordered the TV to be taken to the store and also announced that students would watch a maximum of two matches every weekend. The next morning, she left for the Head Teachers conference in Mombasa. But Mr. Maina claimed that the PM had actually gone on her private businesses. “The Conference will be covered on TV; you won’t see her on TV!”
A day later, the Deputy ordered the TV back to the staffroom, and announced that different classes would watch every day’s matches in turns. This made her a heroine overnight. “Only a teacher who has no classes will join the students to watch the matches in the DH, or would be allowed in the staffroom during matches,” the Deputy announced. We prepared a timetable for this and for the first few days, she walked around to confirm this.
She must have got tired after two days. Soon after, it was free for all. Most classes ended as soon as World Cup matches began – with most students leaving class to watch the matches. I remember the day Chile was playing Honduras. I was supporting Honduras, as I had never heard of the country.
Since I had a double lesson that afternoon in Form 2W, I went there during lunch time and gave them three Ufahamu exercises to occupy them during the lessons. I returned to the staffroom and settled on the sofa ready for the crunch match. Besides three other teachers, we were joined by Arthur, the bursar and Baraza, the Lab Assistant.
“Imagine Honduras, which had earthquakes, are in World Cup na sisi we are not,” commended the bursar.
“That was Haiti,” said Mboya, laughing. The game began soon after and I had difficulty pronouncing the difficult names of the players.
A few minutes into the game, my phone rang. I wondered why Jasmine, who was in class, was calling me. “Andrew, leo umepatikana,” she started. “Your supervisor from KU has just missed you in Form 2W and is coming to the staffroom.”
“What? Mwathani!, I don’t even have a lesson plan!” Even before I stood from the sofa, he was already at the staffroom door. “Andrew, I am Dr Wasonga from Kenyatta University,”
I welcomed him into the staffroom and pulled a chair for him next to my desk. “I arrived late and went straight to Form 2W as per your timetable. Why were you not in class?” he asked. I told him that we had swapped the lesson with another teacher. “I taught for her in the morning and she was supposed to teach for me in the afternoon but she fell ill.” It was clear that he was not convinced
“Where are your Schemes and records of work?” he asked.
“Sir I have them here,” I explained. “But I forgot the keys to my locker at home.” Just then, the other teachers went wild celebrating Chile’s goal. Dr Wasonga then asked me to prepare for the second lesson of the double. I hurriedly scribbled a lesson plan and went to class with him. The lesson was good, although I called a few students the wrong names, with two of them openly correcting me!
From class, we went to the staffroom where he gave me a long lecture and criticized me for not using teaching aids. Which teaching aids would I have used when teaching how to write kumbukumbu?
He then relaxed a little, smiled and said: “My car has some problem, please come help me,” I followed him to his car as we chatted. Am not good at cars but I suspect his was a new type of Mercedes Benz I had never heard of. The word Platz was written behind.
I helped him change his flat tyre. Once we were done, the car would not start until I called a few school employees to help me push it. “Thank you so much, Andrew. Forget about the earlier altercation we had. You will have a good report,” he said, went back to his car and sped off.
mwalimuandrew@gmail.com
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